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Just Say No
No, this isn’t some type of anti-drug campaign, even though my daughter currently has two temporary tattoos with Nancy Reagan’s famous slogan on it (for an interesting conversation on permanent tattoos, be sure to check out Jan Parrish’s blogspot). What I’m referring to holds a much stronger temptation for me than any illicit drug: the temptation to wear a mask and pretend as if I have everything under control, even when I most evidently don’t. Take this morning as an example. It was the first day of Bible study, which is always exciting. (If you are interested in joining a group and are in the Denver area, come join me every Wednesday morning at Mountainview Community Christian Church). After dropping my daughter off at preschool, I arrived at church a few minutes early. I thought I’d keep my son with me for the beginning of the study so I could nurse him, but apparently this “well” dried up quickly and he was screaming for more. I tried getting a bottle ready with a squirming baby on my lap (translation: baby nearly on the floor), all the while trying to fulfill my position as table leader. Remember, this was the first week of study, so I was still unsure of the format. To say I felt frenzied and disorganized would be a gross understatement. In the midst of the near baby-dropping bottle preparation, the director of women’s ministry came over and asked me one simple question.
“Is everything okay?”
I used to think I had it together. Maybe that was before having kids, or at least back in the days when I used a day planner. Today, even the thickest mask couldn’t cover up how I felt. And so, in one of the most sincere moments of my life, I honestly blurted out, “NO!”
Such a simple word, and yet it had such a powerful effect. The fa?ade dissipated and an opportunity for transparent, authentic community emerged. (oh, and did I mention Janice graciously took my son down to the nursery for me?) What sweet bliss to be accepted for who I am, frenzied mess and all.
C’mon girls, let’s just say no to masked living!
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Shirley Wind says:
Dear Stacy,
Thank you so much for that wonderful article, Just say no..no, to masked living. It not only was well written, but the content shows your dear heart of transparency before God and others.
You are loved, your Friend Shirley
Kim says:
Thanks Stacy for your honesty and transparency. A person’s willingness to accept help from a friend means more than appearing to be one who has it all together. Thanks for the encouragement!
Jan Parrish says:
Your a wonderful woman and an amazing mom. Thanks for sharing. We all have those days.
Thanks for linking my blog. You rock!
Robyn Damkoehler says:
I think all of us at the table on Wednesday came to that same conclusion :0) It’s nice to know we’re not alone
Robyn
Jill Allen says:
Stacy,
I am absolutely impressed not only with the time that you have spent with (meetme@theintersection.com) but your desire to help others with your obedience to god! I am very proud to call you my friend and look forward to see how god blesses you!!! It was great seeing you last week! I sure look forward to the next visit.
My love and blessings, Jill
Sarah Powell says:
Stacy, that was such an awesome message and something that I needed to hear. I try so hard to hold all the pieces of my life together without anyone seeing my fears and frustrations. I would much rather have people think that I have it all together and am living life freely without struggle. Sometimes it feels like it would be aweful to have people see me as weak or incapable when in fact I am just human! I do realize that I need to let down my guard and let others in and let them help if I need it. Thanks for encouraging words, I think it is something that we all need to work on.
Shana Tracy says:
Thanks Stacy for connecting me to this site! Your article was so inspiring because this is what we need as moms – to know we are not the only ones struggling. Instead of putting on the ‘mask’, we would help each other so much more by saying “nope – I don’t have it all together and somedays I don’t want to do this at all!” A pastor said something to me today that really hit home for me – (I’m paraphrasing) ‘burdened souls don’t need saints to lift them up, they need other burdened souls’. This is SO true for moms! You are a total blessing to me as a friend – thanks for inspiring me ALL the time!
Robbie Iobst says:
Stacy,
I love your honest approach to life. Thank you for inspiring me to toss the mask and be myself every day, every situation. You rock, girl!
"The Intersection" says:
Shana, Thanks for being a “burdened soul” with me along this journey! Lately I’ve really had a hard time balancing life with 2 kids while also pursuing other goals. Your honesty in saying that having 2 children is much harder than 1 gave me the grace to allow myself to slow down, savor this time, and put the other goals on hold for now. Thanks, friend!
Brenda Lyles says:
Stacy,
Thank you once again for your honesty. After reading your article I sat back and realized that I am not being honest with myself or others around me. “NO” is such a simple word but often the hardest to say out loud. Thank you for the article and once again hitting home! I am so blessed to have met you and have you as a friend.
Joyce Bertram says:
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I appreciate the warmth and sincerity visible in your life.