Refined to Finished

A few summers ago my in-laws came for a visit from Jamaica. As you can imagine our visits are few and far between given the distance we live from each other. So when we are together, conversations are precious and cherished. This particular Colorado summer day we were sitting out on our deck sipping lemonade when my father-in-law asked me some questions I will never forget.

He asked me what I felt were the greatest qualities each of my children possess and what is one characteristic for each that I would want prayer? I was quick to name their greatest qualities. This is their grandparents, mind you, and I’ve earned some bragging rights. But I was also too quick to think of characteristics that I fear may become an issue for them in the future.

My oldest daughter Madeline, who is seven-years-old, is probably one of the kindest most considerate children I know. But it is this very quality that brings me heartache and stress sometimes.

Last week was Field Day at her school. I came to walk around with her to a few of the events. One such event took place in the gym. Each child was to pair up with another child and TAKE TURNS pushing each other on a scooter up and down the gym floor. I watched as Madeline did all the pushing. Not to mention, this girl was a tad heavier and rounder than my skinny, light-weight Madeline. I saw Madeline ask for a turn, but it was not meant to be. This girl was not going to give up the scooter rides. It took all I had to not go and give that child a piece of my mind, but I knew this was one battle I needed to let Madeline fight.

Well Madeline didn’t fight it. The whistle blew and it was time to move on to the next event. I was certain that Madeline would be upset for not getting a turn, but instead she came running toward me, all smiles, saying how excited she was to go and get a snow cone at the next station. Not only that, she enjoyed her snow cone and some great conversation with “scooter girl.”

Now some of you may think I’m dealing with a “doormat;” someone who never stands up for themselves. A few years ago, I would have agreed. In fact, that was the prayer request I gave my father-in-law that day on the deck. But, thankfully, I have seen Madeline grow into a stronger, more confident girl.

My father-in-law gave me some great advice that summer day. He told me to not see this characteristic as a weakness, but as kindness. Sure I need to instruct Madeline on standing up for herself, but never to the point of squelching that amazing attribute. Couldn’t we use a little more kindness in this world anyway?

In the book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World,” Joanna Weaver writes, “A product requires a process. Becoming like Jesus requires a process as well…..Christianity is a process not an event. It is a journey not a destination.”[1]

So often I wait to become the woman God wants me to be. I almost think it will be a magical transformation. Poof, here I am, “Miss Fruits of the Spirit” has arrived. Reading those words gave me so much perspective. “It takes a process to get a product.” Most likely I will never arrive at super-Christiandom, but I’m not worried, as it’s the refining process that draws me closer to Christ-likeness.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

God has begun a good work in all of us and someday we will all arrive and be that complete person in Christ. For now, it is a constant refining process. But hold on for the finished product.

“To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy.” Jude 24

[1]Joanna Weaver, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, (Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press, 2007), 215-16.