I’m feeling rather cantankerous today. (Don’t you just LOVE that word? Even when in the middle of it, simply saying "cantankerous" makes me feel better.)

Ok. Back to my cantankerous-ness. I looked it up using my handy "synonym finder" and this is what it says: irritable, cranky, argumentative, difficult, and unreasonable.

Yep. That just about sums it up. The reason for my unreasonableness is simple: God has asked me to do something I don’t want to do. And the internal tension in my chest feels like Mount St. Helens about five minutes before she blew.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been hurt by someone I love. Someone I’ve known for a length of time and have shared a lot of life with. And the hurt is so real, so deep that it feels utterly inexcusable. When I first wake up in the morning, I temporarily forget. Then, a cloud of reality descends on my waking consciousness and I feel the hurt all over again. My heart aches.

I know all about the forgiveness verses. There are PLENTY of them. I realize I must forgive.  My own forgiveness (not to mention my sanity) depends on it. Still, I don’t have to play nice anymore, do I? That’s where my cantankerousness comes in. God is asking me to offer real kindness–from the heart–as a remedy for my hurt. This doesn’t feel the least bit fair and I’m tempted to protest like a toddler: "But I don’t WANNA!!!!!"

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:8-9

Ugh. Blessing, huh? (Sigh)

This too shall pass. I am pretty sure my relationship will be rekindled and life will go on, simply because similar scenarios have played out multiple times throughout my life. Why? Because long ago I made the choice to live in relationships, and relationships are messy. VERY messy. Feelings get hurt, which causes an emotional reaction. Emotional reactions typically further the hurt cycle, compounding injury upon injury. It is a vicious circle of pain which can only end with someone deciding–yes, making a CHOICE of the will–to no longer participate in the hurt-and-be-hurt cycle. The remedy? At least this time, it is what I believe God is calling me to–a simple, sincere act of undeserved kindness.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice and cantankerousness (okay, I added this last part, but it seems to fit, don’t you think?). Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

This isn’t easily done, and I am not so naive to assume it will end like a fairy tale or topped with a nice red bow. However, I know for a fact I have hurt other people too many times to count, and have been forgiven of MUCH–even today. And though I’m feeling a little toddler-ish at the moment, the truth is I would rather live drowning in abundant kindness than take a chance at missing out on a God-sized blessing.

It was spring, and the barley harvest was beginning in Bethlehem, as two unlikely women began a journey together across the Jordan River from Moab: Naomi, an Ephrathite and Ruth, a Moabite.

This was a dark time in Israel’s history. People were more interested in pleasing themselves than pleasing God (Judges 21:25). But one woman, a Moabite, would cross racial, cultural and spiritual lines to demonstrate an amazing act of kindness.

Ruth married the son of Elimelech and Naomi. But soon after, tragedy struck this family. Elimilech and his two sons died, leaving Naomi, and her two daughters-in-law, (Orpah and Ruth) widowed. Moab was a drought ravaged land at this time, so after hearing that there was more food and provisions in Bethlehem, Naomi gathered her two daughters-in-law and they set out to return to Naomi’s homeland (Ruth 1:7).

After realizing what she was asking of these young women, Naomi pleaded with Orpah and Ruth to return to Moab. She wanted the girls to return to the land of their people and families. Orpah agreed, but Ruth insisted on staying with Naomi. She replied with these famous and very powerful words:

“Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-18

It was August of 1997 in a beautiful garden in Southern California. The weather was warm that summer day, as two unlikely families prepared to be bonded by the marriage of my husband and me. The processional started with the band playing “Ebony and Ivory.” I’m kidding. However, the song is quite fitting. I’m ivory in every sense of the word and my Jamaican husband is, well, ebony.

That day in August, two cultures and two races came together to celebrate a marriage and the merging of two Christian families. As I read this account in Ruth, I couldn’t help but think how much Ruth and I have in common, until the part where she is willing to give up everything, including her heritage, to spend the rest of her life with her mother-in-law.

In our American culture “mother-in-laws” are the source of many jokes. I guess it’s one way our culture deals with serious issues, such as blending two families. It’s sometimes easier to make light of situations than face them head on. I can say with all certainty that my mother-in-law does not fall into that category. She is a strong, Godly woman who is a blessing to many.

That said; it would be very difficult for me to give up everything I’ve ever known, leave my family and friends, and move to Jamaica with my mother-in-law. Furthermore, in knowing what I know of my mother-in-law, she would never ask that of me, just like Naomi never asked Ruth to do what she did.

Kindness, at its core, is all about selflessness. The motives are pure. There is no agenda and no strings attached. Not only did Ruth demonstrate a huge act of kindness, she had no expectations of reward.

That spring Naomi and Ruth found a place they could call home in Bethlehem. And people soon learned of Ruth and her act of kindness. Though Ruth never sought to be recognized or rewarded for her kindness, she was. She was greatly blessed. In fact this beautiful story even takes a romantic turn. Look at what Ruth’s future husband says about her kind character:

“Boaz replied, I have been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” Ruth 2:11-12

Ahhhh, and who says the Bible isn’t romantic?