The Riches of Kindness

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?  Romans 2:4

At the most unexpected moment, familiar words exploded in epiphany.

Until then, my relational finesse could have been described as a careful meting out of kindness in proportion to merit. A history of painful relationships left me guarded and extremely careful.  Kindness was offered in exchange for kindness delivered. Take advantage of my kindness and expect a sudden and cool withdrawal. Even in my parenting, I found myself using harsh reprisals and relational toughness to manipulate desired results. 

Then God interrupted my day–and protective shell–with Romans 2:4. With a firm shake of my stubborn shoulders, he gently reminded:  Michele, was it the harsh criticism from Bible-quoting Christians which turned your life around? Or how about the stern, grace-less rebukes of those who loved you so imperfectly? No, my child. It was my gentle, yet firm teaching, correcting and training of your spirit which healed your heart and turned you back toward me.  It was my faithful presence, my determined pursuit, my unwavering patience with your tears and your doubt.  It was my kindness which turned your life around. Why can’t you do the same for my other children?

Ouch. I forgot. Or at least hadn’t made the connection. When had I developed this judgmental spirit?  I’d received my share of harsh Christian lingo and cutting reprisals over the years. I knew firsthand the damage it could cause, and the licking of wounds which would follow.  And, yet, hadn’t I carelessly done the same thing?  I had been hurt more than once by a couple people, and, thus, responded with cold callousness. I was living as a kindness scrooge, unwilling to invest myself in undeserving recipients. Perhaps my relational withdrawal would teach them a much needed lesson.

Please understand, I’m all for healthy boundaries. Wisdom chooses her friends carefully (Proverbs 4:14-23). However, I was using walls as a weapon, excusing unforgiveness in the name of boundary-setting.  Have you forgotten what I’ve done for you? God reminded. Do you show me such disregard? I’d never thought of it that way. 

My epiphany came with both uncomfortable conviction and blessed freedom. I cannot ignore God’s emphasis on undeserved kindness. For no other reason than love, God sent His Own to offer me favor and acceptance, though I’d never be able to deserve it. I know without a doubt I am kept afloat by grace alone.  It is the riches of God’s kindness which softened my heart, rescued my life, and now sustains me daily. Nothing more, nothing less. How can I ever thank him? 

I could start by offering a little undeserved kindness in return.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:12-14