Several years ago I sat in church and listened as a member of the church board read a letter to the congregation. The congregation sat in silence as the disappointing news was delivered. A staff pastor’s wives had confessed to an extra-marital affair with a prominent member of the church.

You could hear a pin drop in that church as the church body began to process the news they had just heard. I was devastated, almost sick to my stomach. Questions flooded my mind: How could this happen? I thought I knew them? How could these people break up their families like this? Why? Why? Why?

Many emotions flooded my thoughts, mostly anger and disappointment at the two perpetrators. Unbeknownst to me this would not be the first time I would sit in a pew and hear news like this. Sadly, it has happened more often than I could have imagined. I know I’m not alone in what I’ve seen. This scenario plays out in churches all over the world.

I need to be honest with you though. Each time I hear of one of these tragic incidences in churches, my faith in church leadership fades just a little. While I think it is a very natural and human response to lose faith in people, it might not be the healthiest of feelings to harbor.

I have heard it stated many times that we are to put our faith in Jesus, not in man. I don’t agree, nor believe that we are describing the same kind of faith. The faith we put in others is more like trust. We couldn’t build relationships without putting some sort of trust in others. On the flipside, we can’t shelter ourselves from relationships just because we might lose faith in someone someday.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Proverbs 3:3-4

The terrible tragedy in the situation I witnessed years ago was that no one within the church reached out to try and bring restoration to these broken families. When we as sinners confess, repent and are forgiven by those we’ve hurt, miraculous restoration can happen. Perhaps if things had been handled differently by the church leadership, two marriages could have been saved.

Jesus showed us over and over the healing power of restoration through grace. On many occasions He tried to teach the legalistic Pharisees of this freeing concept. On one such occasion Jesus addressed the crowds and warned them,

“But do not do what they do (the Pharisees), for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” Matthew 23:3-4

Thankfully we have a Savior who longs to carry our heavy loads (Matthew 11:28-29). He does not want us to be weighed down with guilt and shame, but to accept the healing power of grace that He offers. My fellow Christ Followers, let’s not be like the Pharisees, let’s be like Christ and faithfully extend grace to one another.