“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” By far this is the biggest lie ever. I would love to meet the person who coined that phrase, because surely he or she has enough self confidence to endure just about anything. I on the other hand  can be so hurt by words. I feel like such a wimp sometimes. Not only is it words that hurt me, but sometimes it’s the tone in which words are delivered.

We have a new puppy, and a few days ago our dear Chester escaped into the front yard. This new found freedom made several more of my hairs turn gray in about a half-second. He ran across the street, next door, down the street and back. I was chasing after him, which was probably the wrong thing to do. I’m sure he thought I was enjoying it just as much he was. Then he went into the WRONG yard. Now mind you, this yard is not the nicest on the street. Weeds are chocking many trees and shrubs. And the grass, well let’s just say, the many clusters of weeds that give the essence of grass, is thriving. My point, this yard is not well taken care of.

For whatever reason, Chester chose this home to stop and “visit”, and wouldn’t you know the owner pulled into her driveway just at that moment. (Not to be too graphic, but Chester was only watering her weeds.) Immediately she jumped out of her car, ran over to Chester and started yelling to him, “Go home you dog, go home.” I arrived on the scene, a tad winded, and apologized to her for the intrusion. I managed to grab Chester by the collar and forcefully lead him home.

I was so mad, and not just at the dog, though he was now safely locked in his kennel for the night. I was actually a little hurt by my neighbor’s tone. Perhaps you are thinking she is afraid of dogs, but that wouldn’t explain why she flew out of her car and ran over to Chester. Perhaps you are thinking she wants to preserve her beautiful yard, but I already explained that. Perhaps you are thinking she had a bad day and Chester tipped her over the edge. These are all the same thoughts I had.

After I calmed down, the word gentleness came to mind. Sometimes it’s not the words we say that are so hurtful, it’s the tone in which we say them. I can relate to my neighbor. I have many moments where I know the tone in which I speak is out of anger, and gentleness is the furthest thing from my mind.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Thank you Lord for the reminder you give us in Proverbs. In those moments when we are frustrated, may we cling to these words and speak gently, so as not to stir up anger in someone else.

“Mom, can I have it if you can’t fix it?” my daughter, Micayla, asked me for the fifth consecutive time this afternoon. After complaining that she didn’t have any jewelry, she convinced me last month to let her borrow one of my favorite necklaces. “Okay,” I told her. “But you have to be careful with it.” She was cautious all morning, but once the chain started itching her, it was a totally different story.“Mom, get it off me, please. I can’t stand it!”

“Micayla, I can’t while I’m driving. We’ll be there in two minutes and I’ll help you then.”

“Never mind. I got it off. Oh….oops. Sorry.”

That broken piece of jewelry has sat in my car ever since, knowing the odds of repairing it were slim to none, while also knowing that if it couldn’t be fixed, the once coveted necklace would suddenly transfer ownership to my daughter. Sensing my hesitancy to admit defeat, Micayla picked up said necklace yet again this afternoon. I love my daughter dearly, but I think there was a conspiracy going as she managed to break it–for the second time!

I tried to be gentle and calm when the necklace originally broke. Micayla obviously felt horrible and I wanted to do everything in my power to help her realize it was merely an accident. But today, tired and worn out from my 1½ year old’s new-found ability to throw a class-act temper tantrum, serenity eluded me.

“Just because you keep breaking my necklace doesn’t mean I have to give it to you.” The edge on my words was sharper than the jagged pieces of my once-beautiful necklace. “You should…..oh, hi.” I interrupted myself as a neighbor made his way up the walk–a neighbor I’m hoping to invite to the Bible study my husband and I will be starting soon. The “phone” voice immediately took over. You know the one. You’re mad at your husband or friend for something, but the phone rings and all of a sudden your voice exudes a peace and calm that was obviously missing a few minutes ago. “Hello?” you sweetly sing into the handset.

Gentleness is found within each one of us, but sometimes we need motivation to utilize it. Oftentimes, that incentive comes from knowing there is someone other than a close friend or family member listening.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5

Ouch. I guess there really is someone else listening.

Lord, even when I’m weary, hurt or disappointed, work in me so that my gentleness may be evident to all.