My favorite flowers lay dying. Wilted and lifeless, the record heat and absence of rain were taking their toll. If I didn’t do something quickly, I’d lose them for good.

Caught in the midst of work responsibilities which would not wait, I called up to my youngest son: "Would you please go water my flowers for me? They don’t look so good…" Always a lover of nature, he gladly complied, slipping on his tennis shoes and heading out the front door. "Make sure they all get plenty of water, okay?" I added as the door shut behind him. Only a handful of minutes later, he walked back in the front door, shorts dripping and made his way toward the stairs and his bedroom.

"Are you finished already?" That was fast. Too fast.

"Yep." He slipped out of his wet shoes and walked up the stairs.

I remained unconvinced. "Did you water all the flowers?"

"Yes, mom." I could hear the roll of his eyes. "I watered them all. The ones in the pots, the ones on the porch. Even those under the front window."

As he went back to his Legos, I went out the front door–just to be sure. Every pot, box and planter sat drenched in water, as were the front steps, lawn and every surface within ten feet. He had watered all the flowers all right, and everything else in sight. Worse yet, he must have turned the hose to its fullest strength, effectively leaving the petals and leaves beaten and bruised. If they were lifeless before, my flowers now lay maimed and crippled.

At times, the way we approach relationships isn’t much different. A friend is hurting, but you rush too quickly and say too much, trying to fix the situation rather than just listening. A frustration is brewing in a hurting relationship. You want to resolve it and believe you have a valid case. The words pour out in confrontation, spewing with the strength of a fire hose. A neighbor doesn’t share your faith, asking provocative questions which leave you confused. You respond too strongly, trying to strong-arm a conversion rather than develop an ongoing relationship. In all these examples, the ultimate goal is to bring life back to the relationship. However, timing and delivery leave the recipient of your downpour bruised and wounded, requiring long-term tending if it is to survive.

Words have the power of life and of death. Though you may have truth which needs to be said, the delivery of this truth will decide whether or not the result will be further brokenness or new revival. Weigh your words carefully, prayerfully, and let them be a gentle rain to all those who hear.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"Let your gentleness be evident to all…" Philippians 4:5