“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” By far this is the biggest lie ever. I would love to meet the person who coined that phrase, because surely he or she has enough self confidence to endure just about anything. I on the other hand can be so hurt by words. I feel like such a wimp sometimes. Not only is it words that hurt me, but sometimes it’s the tone in which words are delivered.
We have a new puppy, and a few days ago our dear Chester escaped into the front yard. This new found freedom made several more of my hairs turn gray in about a half-second. He ran across the street, next door, down the street and back. I was chasing after him, which was probably the wrong thing to do. I’m sure he thought I was enjoying it just as much he was. Then he went into the WRONG yard. Now mind you, this yard is not the nicest on the street. Weeds are chocking many trees and shrubs. And the grass, well let’s just say, the many clusters of weeds that give the essence of grass, is thriving. My point, this yard is not well taken care of.
For whatever reason, Chester chose this home to stop and “visit”, and wouldn’t you know the owner pulled into her driveway just at that moment. (Not to be too graphic, but Chester was only watering her weeds.) Immediately she jumped out of her car, ran over to Chester and started yelling to him, “Go home you dog, go home.” I arrived on the scene, a tad winded, and apologized to her for the intrusion. I managed to grab Chester by the collar and forcefully lead him home.
I was so mad, and not just at the dog, though he was now safely locked in his kennel for the night. I was actually a little hurt by my neighbor’s tone. Perhaps you are thinking she is afraid of dogs, but that wouldn’t explain why she flew out of her car and ran over to Chester. Perhaps you are thinking she wants to preserve her beautiful yard, but I already explained that. Perhaps you are thinking she had a bad day and Chester tipped her over the edge. These are all the same thoughts I had.
After I calmed down, the word gentleness came to mind. Sometimes it’s not the words we say that are so hurtful, it’s the tone in which we say them. I can relate to my neighbor. I have many moments where I know the tone in which I speak is out of anger, and gentleness is the furthest thing from my mind.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Thank you Lord for the reminder you give us in Proverbs. In those moments when we are frustrated, may we cling to these words and speak gently, so as not to stir up anger in someone else.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Krista,
Chester looks so innocent in the picture! The interesting thing is that Chester didn’t realize what he was doing wrong on the neighbor’s “beautiful” grass. Oh, to be so innocent! Unfortunately, since we have Adam’s blood in us we are prone to the sin of lacking gentless with our words and actions. Fortunately, when we become followers of Christ we receive the life blood of Jesus running through our veins! It doesn’t mean that we still don’t have black splotches on our white robes but God sees us as righteous. Lack of gentleness is one of those black splotches on my robe. The longer we know our Saviour the more we are aware of the black splotches and can confess and He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteous. Then we look at our robe as white again. Thanks for your thoughts on this subject. By the way, I was running down the street with you chasing Chester in my mind. The story was very descriptive. Lord, help me to be gentle!
MOM
September 28th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I love this verse from Proverbs. I have been looking for new verses to put around my house and I think this will be a great one. A good reminder to me as a parent and for my kids in the ways they respond to each other. And I can’t imagine how your neighbor could yell at such an adorable dog, Chester is so darn cute and cuddly with such an innocent face.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Hi Krista,
Isn’t it true that we spend a lot of time teaching our kids (and trying ourselves), to use appropriate words, but we say so much more with the tone of the words we use! I do have a tough time with the trait of gentleness, rather I don’t have it! I’m careful (usually) about the words that I choose but what a great reminder about tone, it shows where our heart is!
Chester is adorable. I’m sure that he felt that the run down the street was a great game, I’m sorry for the ending. It’s great that you could take something ugly and turn it into a valuable experience for all of us.
September 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Krista,
I can just picture you running down the street after Chester! How often have we all been there — chasing after the dog, the cat, the kids, or just chasing around the stressful thoughts of the day through our mind. The tension can cause us to forget the gentle tone, can’t it? As the kids get older, I more frequently remind them about their tone — it’s not just the words you say, it is how you say them. But, we are not always the best example of that. Our children with their gentle spirits — they are like flowers whose petals can be easily bruised or crushed with a harsh word. I pray that my prayers for strength and wisdom, and my apologies to my children and my husband when frustration comes out in my tone, will be the example they follow as they continue to grow in God’s grace.
All my love to you and Matthew and the girls!
Heather