A Christmas without presents.

Not exactly a child’s favorite memory. Still I’ll never forget it.

Our church, grown beyond capacity, needed a bigger building. The leadership decided a three-year, church-wide building fundraiser was the necessary next step. And, as part the elder team heading up the initiative, my dad believed our family should be one of the first to make some kind of monetary investment.

Made sense to me. But I was just a kid. I didn’t expect it to impact me directly. Until we sat down as a family and started to brainstorm ideas for coming up with our contribution. Cut back on allowances. Give up extra activities. Forgo restaurant eating. Small potatoes kind of stuff. With a serious expression, dad nodded at our suggestions and then challenged us to go deeper. As he explained,

sacrifice isn’t really sacrifice unless it hurts.

That’s precisely the moment we proposed canceling Christmas. Not the holiday as a whole, but the present part. After all, what could “hurt” more than giving up gifts? Of course, seconds after suggesting it, I believe both my brother and I felt tightening of our stomachs. Regret? Maybe. Retraction? No. And just that fast, we cut Christmas from our calendar. For the following three years.

Months passed before the first holiday came. The deeper we moved into December, the more our decision “hurt.” No Christmas. Weird. What EXACTLY will we do all day? As the month wore on, and child-like disappointment grew, it became clear we needed something else to invest in. After hearing of some friends in a financial bind, we set out to surprise them with the best creative Christmas we could muster, without the extra cash. And the diversion proved to be one of the most creative and fun projects we’d experienced. By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, we were more caught up in our secret surprise than the fact our own tree would remain barren Christmas morning.

The anonymous homemade gifts delivered, we returned home on Christmas Eve both inspired and content. This is what Christmas is all about. Even us kids knew it to be true. And though the experience of Christmas without gifts held its moments of disappointment and regret, we all remained convinced of it’s worth. Today I can’t recall for the life of me what might’ve gone without. The Christmas wishes of those years have long since evaporated with time. The lesson learned–and the sheer joy of giving–however, remains as clear as as if it happened yesterday.

For it is the giving—not the getting—that truly makes Christmas something to both celebrate and remember.