Leah’s story always breaks my heart (Genesis 29, 30).

When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” ~ Genesis 29:31-32

To her deep grief, he surely didn’t. Not with the birth of Reuben. Or Simeon. Or Levi. Or even Judah. No matter the number of children Leah birthed, her husband’s love stayed cold, already poured out on another. Leah daily bore the sting of rejection, her arms full of children, but her heart empty of the love she’d always wanted.

Women do crazy things for love. Yes, even birth children. Desperate, we’ll go to great lengths to try and be worthy, and then hold our breath and whisper, “Surely he (she) will love me now…” How far will you go for a little love?

Change your appearance?
Move?
Leave your husband and kids?
Work extra long hours?
Avoid difficult parenting decisions?
Entertain a dangerous relationship?
Avoid conflict at great cost?
Drown in ministry?
Starve yourself?
Read romance novels?
Sign up for every volunteer opp?
Hang out in dark corners of the Internet?

I bet the list could keep going for pages. But that’s not the point. The point is we want to be loved. Every last one of us. The problem lies not in our need, but in the path we traverse to meet it. We’re created by a God who longs to have connection with us. Unfathomable, I know, but no less true. He made us to commune with Him, in an intimate, beautiful, profound and indescribable relationship, to which nothing else on Earth will ever compare.

It’s okay. Go ahead and let yourself be a little desperate for love. His love. And when all other voices tempt you with their empty promises of satisfaction, instead allow your heart’s ache pull you into His perfectly safe embrace.

He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. ~ Isaiah 40:11