Just Wondering

I wonder if she resented it.  Her beauty that is.  After all, that’s ultimately what took her away from the only remaining family member this young woman had left.  And speaking of family, did she ever question why her parents died when she was so young?  Did she wonder how much more she’d have to endure?  First the loss of her parents and then the unexpected separation from her father-like cousin who cared for her as his own.  Did she resent being seen only as a beautiful face?  Was that as demeaning to her soul as the fact that the one thing she valued most, her virginity, would be handed to a man for a probable one-night stand?  And the competition.  Oh, the competition.  She never would have signed up for this strange beauty pageant, the one in which the winner takes all and everyone else would spend the remainder of their days in the harem.  Did she become catty as they fought for the crown?  Sure, she received royal beauty treatments and even had seven maids assigned to her, but I still wonder.  Was it hard to not reveal her ancestry and the fact that her family had been exiled from Jerusalem?  Did she gag as she partook of the special food given to her, the very foods that her Yahweh had commanded not to eat?  I wonder.

As we flip through the few pages of Esther’s short book, we can easily miss the trials, despairs and grief she invariably experienced.  The chapters in her life are complete and we can look at the end and somehow convince ourselves that it made the beginning easier.  But Esther, like us, didn’t know how her story would unfold.  No doubt she felt alone, confused, scared.  Maybe angry at God as she realized that her dreams weren’t necessarily His dreams for her.  Perhaps she was upset that people wouldn’t appreciate her for who she was.  Can you relate?   

I don’t know the ending of our stories, but I do know that it shares at least one thing with Esther’s.  We can get a crown, and we don’t even have to enter a beauty pageant.

     Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when

    he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God

     has promised to those who love him.”  James 1:12