She wanted a baby more than she wanted air to breathe.

“In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, ‘O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will …’” ~ 1 Samuel 1:10-11a

The love of a husband and the blessing of provision could not numb her ache to hold a child of her own. It’s all she thought about, from the moment she awoke until the moment she finally fell into lonely sleep. In agony, she cried out to the Creator, the One she knew could make possible the impossible, hoping her willingness to beg would motivate Him to respond.

Have you ever wanted something that bad? Have you ever been so consumed with unassuaged longing that you fell to your knees, weeping and begging God to grant the request of your heart? What is your heart aching for now?

~ A husband to share your life with
~ A different job
~ Vindication for an offense
~ The camaraderie of a close friendship
~ A home
~ A dream fulfilled
~ Financial security
~ A loved one to turn their life around
~ A child to hold and call you “Mom”

I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t experienced a longing unfulfilled … or at the least deterred. And many times, when we approach the point of desperation, we attempt to negotiate with God much as Hannah did. “If you’ll only do this one thing for me, then I’ll … ” We promise the moon in the hopes of an answered prayer. Hannah did the same, but went a step further:

“‘…if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life…’ After he was weaned she took the boy with her, young as he was … and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh…’I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.’” “ ~ 1 Samuel 1:11, 24, 26-27

Once God gave her the gift she’d always wanted, she turned around and gave it right back to him. She didn’t get possessive and protective. She didn’t make a promise she had no intention of keeping. She held her boy loosely, celebrating the answer to her prayer but fulling accepting that he was a gift–God’s gift.

How about you? If God gives you a dream job, are you able to enjoy it without letting your esteem be wrapped up in it? If God provides you with a place to call home, are you able to give it right back to him, allowing him to use that home for his purposes?

There’s nothing wrong with approaching God with honestly regarding your heart’s desires. But ultimately, it’s not the fulfillment of the request, but God Himself, who you truly need. It makes sense, then, to hold on to everything else loosely.