I’m a mother in the process of losing her babies.

“Losing” might not be the right word, but they’re growing up and moving on. And each day that passes I feel them pulling a little further away from me. Not as anxious to jump into my arms when the school day ends. Not as likely to allow me to brush the hair away from their foreheads when I tuck them in at night. Truth is, my boys are nearly men. And my role is changing.

Let me tell you, that feels about as good as having my toenails pulled out one by one.

The problem? Although my boys are changing, my heart feels no different than it did the first day I held each one as my own. They may be teenagers, but they’re still my sweet babies. And it’s hard for these momma hands to let go.

Have you ever felt the same way?

This month, each week’s devotional will be about Mary, the mother of Jesus. As I grieve this change in my maternal role, I can’t help but think about this young mother who knew from the first day the angel appeared to her that this child she carried would never really be her own. He was destined for something both horrible and glorious. How did she love him and hold him loosely at the same time? How did she raise him knowing death would be the ultimate result? Maybe she didn’t fully understand, just as I didn’t grasp the brevity of my motherhood years. Still, how in the world did she let Him go?

Whether we’re talking babies or any other valuable gift, it’s difficult to keep a loose grip. After a week of celebrating Thanksgiving, we’re more acutely aware of all we have to be thankful for. But how tight is our hold? Could I be just as thankful if all those things evaporated tomorrow?

Living with open-handed thankfulness is a difficult discipline. But it’s a discipline Mary needed to master, and one we need to discover, as well.

What gifts do you need to cherish and release at the same time?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

November 30, 2009   //   Devotional   //   No Comments   //  

It was my turn for carpool duty this particular afternoon. I was driving, not only my kids, but the kids of some close family friends home from school. As I usually do on these drives, I was listening quietly to the chatter of two first grade girls and two third grade girls. You won’t believe the information I can gather on these short trips……

As we neared this family’s home, Madeline, my third grader, hugged her friend and said “Bye B-F-F-L.” Now I consider myself somewhat hip on pop-culture. I know B-F-F stands for “Best Friends Forever”, but “L” what is that about?

Later that evening I asked my daughter about it. And after some hesitation and wanting to guard this BIG third grade secret, she told me it was probably okay to tell me. Whew. Apparently “B-F-F-L” stands for “Best Friends for Life.” Pretty clever, I thought.

As I walked away from that conversation I thanked God that Madeline has such a great friend. I pray that will always be the case, but I know she will one day experience the hardships and challenges that come from navigating through friendships with women.

Our Lord wired us to be in relationships. I suppose we could go through life avoiding friendships, but I believe in each of us lies an empty place that is meant for a friend to fill. And because we are more emotionally driven individuals, so are our friendships, and that is where friendships become challenging.

In Philippians 4, there is a brief, but important message that Paul gives in regards to the friendships of women. Let me introduce Euodia and Syntyche. (Your guess is as good as mine on the pronunciation.)

“I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.” Philippians 4: 2-3

Apparently it has been brought to Paul’s attention that there is trouble among these two women, and the church community does not know how to resolve this issue. It is clear that they are both Christ followers and have been instrumental in Paul’s ministry. But this community is facing a crossroads. Struggling friendships were the last thing these new believers expected, therefore, they called on their mentor Paul to gain some perspective.

Paul’s advice is two-fold: One, he told them to settle their disagreement because of their common ground in the Lord, and two, to not lose sight of the bigger picture—spreading the gospel. Paul did not take sides, as that would cause division. He wanted them to be of the same mind, and if they needed to, to seek the counsel of others to come to that place of unity so they could move forward with their ministry.

I realize this is easier said than done. But perhaps remembering during the stormy times of friendships the common ground they were built on will lead to restoration. And, I’m almost certain that looking at the bigger picture is always better than narrowly focusing on the disagreement.

It always amazes me how perfectly scripture weaves together. Do you know what scripture immediately follows this difficult lesson on friendships? It’s one we’ve heard over and over.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

Friendships of women are beautiful and sometimes complicated, but they are a gift to be cherished. Rejoice and be thankful for your girlfriends!