I’m a mother in the process of losing her babies.

“Losing” might not be the right word, but they’re growing up and moving on. And each day that passes I feel them pulling a little further away from me. Not as anxious to jump into my arms when the school day ends. Not as likely to allow me to brush the hair away from their foreheads when I tuck them in at night. Truth is, my boys are nearly men. And my role is changing.

Let me tell you, that feels about as good as having my toenails pulled out one by one.

The problem? Although my boys are changing, my heart feels no different than it did the first day I held each one as my own. They may be teenagers, but they’re still my sweet babies. And it’s hard for these momma hands to let go.

Have you ever felt the same way?

This month, each week’s devotional will be about Mary, the mother of Jesus. As I grieve this change in my maternal role, I can’t help but think about this young mother who knew from the first day the angel appeared to her that this child she carried would never really be her own. He was destined for something both horrible and glorious. How did she love him and hold him loosely at the same time? How did she raise him knowing death would be the ultimate result? Maybe she didn’t fully understand, just as I didn’t grasp the brevity of my motherhood years. Still, how in the world did she let Him go?

Whether we’re talking babies or any other valuable gift, it’s difficult to keep a loose grip. After a week of celebrating Thanksgiving, we’re more acutely aware of all we have to be thankful for. But how tight is our hold? Could I be just as thankful if all those things evaporated tomorrow?

Living with open-handed thankfulness is a difficult discipline. But it’s a discipline Mary needed to master, and one we need to discover, as well.

What gifts do you need to cherish and release at the same time?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17