The word “elder” doesn’t always stir up a case of “warm fuzzies.” In fact, it often causes something more along the lines of “nausea.”

To begin, I grew up an elder’s daughter, meaning my dad sat on the board of elders–and often chaired it–for the majority of my childhood. This made ours a well-known family, and one very much under the microscope. I spent Sundays listening to sermons on grace, followed by Mondays through Saturdays experiencing a significant lack of it. Expectations abound toward those in church leadership, and in some cases rightly so. While I believe those who lead the church should be held to a high standard, I don’t think that standard includes prohibiting them from any semblance of humanity, and certainly not their in-progress children who didn’t choose their position but were born right into that church nursery under a blanket of expectations.

On the other side of my childhood years and as a member in multiple churches over the years, I’ve seen the best and worst of elder and deacon boards. There’s no need to get into the bloody details, but my experience with church leadership has often left me perplexed and aching for what God intended in the beginning. Because what I’ve seen certainly can not be the leadership God designed for his bride.

All this leads me to wonder if our leadership lacking and the secret for its remedy sits in that first verse Paul penned in his letter to the Philippine Church:

“Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus. To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons…”

Paul writes to the church and her leaders, but as the leader over both groups he sets the standard with four simple but strong words: servants of Christ Jesus.

Servants. Not masters, or dictators, or indifferent followers, or naysayers, or heavy-handed rebukers. SERVANTS. Servants of Christ, with him as the authority, the source of love, grace, mercy, wisdom and correction.

Regardless of whether you’re an elder, deacon, women’s ministry leader, Bible study facilitator, or mentor, your first step in leading is by serving, and by remembering Who you serve. Tension will still raise his ugly head from time to time, as long as humans lead humans. But serving is the knife that cuts through the tension and allows grace–the grace of Jesus–to abound.